** SPOILERS ** If you have not read Dark Avengers #13, then do not read this. You have been warned.
Hey! Remember back in a previous issue of Dark Avengers when the Sentry's wife shot him in the face with a space gun and killed him? Remember when in the issue right after, The Sentry was perfectly fine and no one talked about that incident? I do! Well if you read both of those and went "what the heck man!", then this issue is for you.
The issue begins in 1600 B.C. with a dark cloud from The Void appearing over Egypt. It is implied that The Void kills all of the Egyptian first born (Biblical re-imagining -300 points). Am I to believe that The Sentry has tapped into an ancient power that has been around for centuries? Apparently so, let's read on.
The next scene has Osborn offering The Sentry a taste of the original serum that turned him into his current self. The Sentry is flabbergasted by the serums very existence, and quickly chugs it down like a college freshman chugging a red bull after an all night bender. This stuff apparently feels pretty amazing, because it looks like rainbows explode from his eyes and chest after he drinks it (making me think of the song Rainbow in the Dark +500 points). Osborn informs The Sentry that he can make more of the serum. This makes The Sentry very happy. (The Sentry and Norman are friends! Hooray! +50 points).
After that little bit of bromance, we return back to the scene that started several issues ago. The Sentry's wife is standing over his body, holding the weapon she used to blow his head off. She then has a sit down chat with The Sentry's floating robot (where did this robot come from? -300 points) and tells it of The Sentry's true origin! Instead of being a young lad that stumbled upon the super serum, he was actually a drug addict that broke into the lab looking for some drugs. When the cops arrived, he quickly drank the serum. This caused the lab to explode and for him to turn into The Sentry. When the professor who owns the lab arrives at the lab, he finds it destroyed by the newly created Sentry and agrees to make more of the serum to feed his habit (The Sentry is a meth addict! Hilarious! +1,000 points).
The Sentry then awakens(!) and is noticeably upset and also, more noticeably, has a head again. You quickly find out at that The Void has taken over at this point, and it is painfully obvious that The Void is Sentry's alternate personality. This is important because it used to be assumed that they were separate entities. The Void then tries to kill The Sentry's wife, but The Sentry manages to regain control of his body. In an effort to destroy himself, and The Void, he flies directly into the sun.
This does not work as The Sentry is able to rebuild his body as quickly as it is destroyed (brutal imagery of him burning up in the sun +500 points). The Void then tells The Sentry that he should just accept him and let him do what he does best...destroy. An emotionally exhausted Sentry then gives in as we see a dark cloud created by The Void looming over New York City. Just like in Egypt in the beginning! (Nice call back! +5 points).
So to recap, The Sentry is a meth addict, is able to manipulate molecules, has seemingly limitless power, and split personalities. One of those personalities likes to wipe whole cities off the map for kicks. Hows about them apples! (+500 points)
While an interesting issue, I would like to point out the following...
- no bikinis (-500 points)
- no fights (-200 points)
- no Spider-Man (-500 points)
In the end, the final tally is... 755 points! Not too shabby Dark Avengers, not too shabby at all.
I would like to end this with my re-imagining of one panel from this book. Please enjoy this...